5 strategies to restart any habit
I finished the first draft of my next book in early November.
Then I asked one of my Writing Brave editors, Sam Keller, for feedback, which she provided in the most helpful, insightful, compassionate way.
My plan was to push forward and edit the entire book to have a second draft ready by mid-January.
(I’m speaking in two weeks at a career conference for students at my alma mater, Vassar College; and there will be a bunch of other alumni there who work in publishing. I want to be ready!)
Then… my writing completely ground to a halt.
I could NOT even open the document. I couldn’t even THINK about editing.
Most of this was due to the intense grief that rose in mid November as I navigated a five week period that included my mom’s birthday, Thanksgiving, my parents’ wedding anniversary, the year anniversary of the last day I saw her, Christmas, and the first anniversary of the day she died.
Part of it was the logistics of the holidays.
And I suspect that part of it was that I simply needed some space from the manuscript - time to think about it instead of working so closely on it.
Because last week I sat down at my desk and worked on my revision plan for a solid hour.
So, without further ado, I offer 5 strategies for restarting any habit. This could be your writing, or something else (exercise, decluttering, any kind of spiritual practice, etc.).
1. Name what works for you. If this is a habit you're restarting (rather than starting something you’ve never ever done before), name what’s worked for you in the past. For example: the writing routine that works for me includes writing first thing in the morning, lighting a candle, setting a timer. I also like to name how long and how many days a week my goal is to write (I’m specific about what success looks like). I like to add pleasure to the habit by journaling for a few minutes first, and reading a page or two of a book about writing that inspires me.
If this is a habit you’re starting for the first time, look at other habits you’ve successfully started and ask yourself what has worked with those. Do you need accountability? If so, what kind? Do you just need to name the first step? What’s helped you be successful in the past?
2. Start smaller than you think you should. When I was writing so diligently this fall, I was doing at least a half hour a day. I really wanted to start with an hour, because getting back into something can take more brain space. But I started with a 30-minute timer because I knew I could do it. I ended up doing a full hour, but I would’ve stopped if I was ready to stop.
Start smaller than you think you should. What’s the smallest increment of time you KNOW you can commit to and actually do?
3. Track your progress. One of my incoming mastermind clients recently told me about the Seinfeld method, which is basically Jerry Seinfeld’s commitment to write jokes every single day - to build up a chain that you don’t want to break.
Now, clearly I need breaks and rest time, but I also LOVE building up a chain I don’t want to break. Track your progress somewhere that you’ll see every day.
4. Plan for setbacks. Think NOW about what you’ll do when life happens. What will you do when you get a cold, or your kid is home with an ear infection, or you have to take a family member to the hospital, or a colleague leaves you hanging and a work project falls apart and you’re in survival mode? Plan NOW for how you’ll handle that with respect to the habit you’re restarting.
5. Don’t start over. If you miss a day (or a week) of writing, don’t make up the time you missed. Don’t throw out what you did and start the book over. Just come back to your regular habit the next day. Don’t wait til Monday, or the start of a new month (or a new year), just start again. Don’t be dramatic. Don’t tell yourself you’ll never be a “real” writer. Just pick up the habit again the very next day.