when you want to quit

True confession: over the holidays, I considered closing Writing Brave. (To be clear, I considered finishing out current client obligations and then closing.)

I won’t say I seriously considered it. But I thought about it pretty regularly for a few weeks.

I asked myself if I wanted to keep going. If this was the career I wanted. Or if I could imagine being happier, more fulfilled (and, honestly, probably better paid) doing something else.

The mastermind launch didn’t go quite as I’d hoped, my business expenses were at an all-time high, and a part of me whispered, I thought I’d be farther along by now. I also got a series of critical comments and emails that made me want to hide under my desk.

I was tired and I wanted to quit, and here’s what I did.

(Spoiler alert: I’m not closing Writing Brave.)

I let myself consider all the options. I really asked myself what I wanted out of life, my career, my salary, and my everyday schedule. I wondered if my business was still the best path to what I wanted.

I didn’t push myself to keep going no matter what.

I floated the idea to a couple of people I love. Most of them responded to my tentative admittance that I was thinking of quitting with a loving affirmation: If that’s what you want, you can totally reinvent yourself.

My husband in particular asked a lot of really insightful questions.

I looked at data. I *felt* like I wasn’t where I wanted to be, so when I got back from break I sat down and looked at data. I looked at my goals for 2024 and where I ended up.

Here’s what the data showed me: I exceeded my goals, which were pretty conservative since my mom died.

I looked at qualitative data, too: how I felt, how much time I took off, how I feel about my day-to-day work and routines.

I named my desires. I’m still in the process of doing this, but I began to really name and put on paper what I wanted. Then I considered what was feasible, what was possible but probably a huge risk, and so on.

I didn’t make any decisions while tired. I felt really burnt out at the end of last year, and following that with my kids being home for eleven days, a mountain of grief and the holidays was just not the time to make any big decisions. I focused on getting through winter break, moving my body, drinking lots of water, and so on.

I saw this as an opportunity to choose again. Brooke Castillo talks a lot about choosing again: would you choose this sofa again? This life partner? This dress? This career? If you wouldn’t choose it again, then you can choose something else. This period reminded me that there are infinite choices and infinite ways of creating a life.

I’m choosing Writing Brave, again.

What will you choose this year?