the bliss of white space

It has a direct impact on creativity.

Something miraculous happened this school year when we finally got my seven-year-old son into after-school care. 

The result is… So. Much. White. Space. 

I’m accustomed to fitting my work into a 9-3 day. Since I now leave to pick up the kids around 5, I suddenly have acres of time. 

The first week of after-care, I was ahead on my to-do list every day. I ran errands I’d been putting off for weeks. I talked to my dad and my sister on the phone. 

I had blissful solo drives to pick up my daughter. 

And I watched as something interesting happened, especially when my son begged me to pick him up later than 5pm because he was having so much fun: my anxiety surfaced. 

There was anxiety that I wasn’t a good enough parent. And anxiety that I didn’t deserve all this unstructured time. And anxiety that something bad was going to happen - that the other shoe was going to drop. 

I watched the anxiety surface. I was able to stay with it until it ebbed. 

It’s still poking its head out occasionally. I say hi to it. 

And otherwise… I’m enjoying feeling more like myself again. I’m not always pressed for time. I’m more patient with my kids (and with myself). I have more time to think. 

And I’m excited to see what this does for my writing life. Because white space leaves room for ideas. 

Happy writing.